Havin a hard time...

Well, just what the title says... It's been rough...especially the past month or more. Lots of emotions that I can't control, mostly because I switched from cymbalta to Wellbutrin and the withdrawal from no cymbalta is hell. I'm sure I'm not on enough Wellbutrin yet either. Everything is a big emotional event for me. All my walls are up. My pain levels are massive. I can hardly stand this. And the thought of winter just beginning is really getting me down too. I'm in that "everybody hates me" mode. Paranoid thoughts and every little thing that goes wrong is the end of the world! I hate feeling like this, especially when I know I don't have to. It's totally my meds screwing with me. It's better now than it was a month ago, though. (When I had to put my cat down. She was very ill.) I guess I will hold on to the thought, it will get better, because it has already. I'm better enough now to at least blog about it. Maybe that is the twinkle of light I see at the end of this long darkness. I can only hope. Thank God I have such an understanding husband...anyone else would have given up on me by now!

Next week I get to have more pain relief injections in my back. That will help a lot too and get me through the holidays so I can make it to all of the family parties.

Pain levels have been as high as 9 and my tolerance isn't what it use to be before injections. I'm becoming a wuss. 

If there's anyone out there that reads my ramblings, please say a little prayer for me. I will pray for all my readers. <3 

I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving.

Keepin at it, But Still Need to Stop the Sweets!

Today is a down day, but I like Sundays to be that way, and watch the race. ;-)

My pain level is pretty high today mostly in my low low back and in my arms and hands. My legs are a little sore, I'm pretty sure that's mostly from my at home physical therapy exercises though. Overall I'd say pain level is about a 6 and it was a lot worse when I first woke up.

I took a long bath and that helped a little. It usually helps to be in water...it helps a lot more if i can fully immerse myself, but you do what you can.

With my lower back aching so much today I'm starting to fear that the shots are starting to wear off. The ones done in the middle of my back seem to be holding pretty well, but it seems the top and bottom are starting to ache a bit. I feel like a sissy, because I know I have endured so much more pain than this, but not being in as much pain for a spell as left me quite soft.

I have been doing a lot of work on my PT and I'm determined to keep with it. I want to live more normally. I really need to work on my eating habits though, I have been over indulging in the sweets lately. I wish I could just give up sugar completely, but I crave it so bad. If it's in the house I want to eat it all up at once. I'm the sugar monster! I can't control myself. At this rate I am undoing all my exercise work, with the terrible things I'm putting in my body. I know this, it's just easy said than done.

If only I could just slice off all my extra fat... maybe someday we'll have the technology to do such a thing with out the terrible fat sucking surgery. My aunt had that surgery and there is no way I'd ever even think it.

Helpful Links:

How to Stop Sugar Cravings | SparkPeople

Easy Ways to Kick Your Sugar Addiction | The Dr. Oz Show

How to Break a Sweet Tooth Addiction | OlsonND.com

How to Kick the Sugar Habit | Happy Herbivore

Curb Your Sweet Tooth | Women's Health Magazine

20 Tips to Curb Sugar Cravings and Kick the Addiction

How I Beat My Sugar Addiction - Carrots 'N' Cake

How to Kick Your Sugar Addiction - Oprah.com

More Like Sugar Low: 4 Steps to Kick that Major Sweet Tooth

6 Ways To Kick Those Sugar Cravings To The Curb

The Infinite Loop of Fibro

I was doing quite well today, even considering all the physical therapy exercises I did yesterday, so I decided to move some things around a bit, (with hubbies help of course,) and get some deep cleaning done. I can tell already I over did things and my lower back is quite angry with me. If only I could learn not to bend over so many times and more importantly to bend at the knees not the waist. I have so many bad habits in how I move around naturally. It's so hard to break those habits. I could save myself a lot of pain if I could learn to move like a granny. hehe

I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. Sometimes when I'm feeling better/less pain my mood gets too high to fall asleep. I have those mood swings and racing thoughts. I try to blog my thoughts and make lists in my phone, but it always seems I am laying awake thinking about something I want to do in the AM. It really is ridiculous when you lose sleep thinking about what you are going to do when you wake up, so much that you end up having to sleep in or take a nap and get less of what you had planned to get done in the first place. It just seems like an endless battle at times.

Feel Better, Over Work Yourself,
Feel Like Butt, Recover, and
Do It All Again - The Infinite Loop of Fibro
All Rights Reserved Copy Right thesuperinkiki

It's really exciting when I have a day or two with little pain, so I start thinking about all the things around the house that get over looked and then I start diving right in. I get over zealous, ignore the warnings, and before I know it the pain is screaming at me to stop and rest. Here I sit, with a very nicely organized and clean environment, but my lower back especially is throbbing about an 8 pain scale. Earlier it was only a 1 - 2.

Hopefully with my recovery times being so much faster these days, I will feel ok tomorrow, as I have PT and AT. Being in the pool will really help. I have learned the hard way that once I get moving in the mornings my pain usually lessens a bit. Then I start feeling like I can tackle the day a little better.

Helpful Links:

How to Understand Someone With Chronic Painhttp://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Someone-With-Chronic-Pain

Strategies to Reduce Chronic Pain, Part Onehttp://www.bettermovement.org/2010/strategies-to-reduce-chronic-pain-part-one/

Movement Therapies
http://www.healingchronicpain.org/content/introduction/comp_movement.asp 

11 Chronic Pain Control Techniques
http://www.spine-health.com/conditions/chronic-pain/11-chronic-pain-control-techniques

Easy Ways to Reduce Chronic Pain
http://www.feldenkraisportland.com/reduce-chronic-pain/

CHRONIC PAIN AND THE FELDENKRAIS METHOD
BY DEBORAH BOWES, PHYSICAL THERAPIST, FELDENKRAIS PRACTITIONERhttp://www.learningforhealth.com/feldenkraismethodandchronicpain.cfm

7 Best Moves to Fight Painhttp://www.sharecare.com/health/chronic-pain/health-guide/chronic-pain-management-cmp/pain-safe-posture-movement-to-minimize-chronic-pain

Moving Along...

I woke up this morning at 10am-ish after going to bed very early (2 PM) the day before. There was a nasty April shower on the way and the pressure from the front was making me very ill.

When I first got out of bed I felt very stiff, achey and sore, on the pain scale, 7, but as the day progressed I was a solid 4 the rest of the day.

I went to my physical therapy and aquatic therapy alone today. It's so good for me to do things on my own, and it was so nice to drive with the radio loud, listening to the heavy music that I love.

I learned a few new exercises that I'm anxious to try out. I only have 3 more sessions before I'm sent out into the world to do all of this by myself. This time I need to stick with it!

Helpful Linkage:

A Simple Way to Actually Stick to Your Goals (And Why You Don’t Need Motivation to Do It)

https://medium.com/life-hacks/95bfc350b92f

How to Accomplish a Goal

http://www.wikihow.com/Accomplish-a-Goal

10 Simple Strategies for Sticking to Your Goals

http://dailyburn.com/life/lifestyle/achieve-goals/

Identity-Based Habits: How to Actually Stick to Your Goals This Yearhttp://jamesclear.com/identity-based-habits

How to Stick to Your Goals When Life Disrupts ‘Emhttp://zenhabits.net/how-to-stick-to-your-goals-when-life-disrupts-em/

How to Stick to Your Goals
http://www.smart-goals-for-success.com/stick-to-your-goals.html

4 Ways to Stick to Your Work Goals this Year

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140105212643-6200057-4-ways-to-stick-to-your-work-goals-this-year

Get Moving!

I felt this storm coming last night. I could not get comfortable, but then once I fell asleep I don't think I woke up once, sleeping in soundly until noon. My natural clock usually wakes me by 9:30 am - 10:30am and not very much later, ever. It wasn't snowing yet when I woke, but I was all disoriented and groggy. It didn't feel like I had slept a wink, when I must have fallen asleep before 3am, which is a good 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I should feel fantastic! I'm so sick of waking up feeling like butt. Well that was when it dawned on me to look at the weather report. Sure enough, there was a snow storm headed right for me. 

Above is something I started to write a couple months ago, and never finished. That is basically how my whole winter played out.

Forgive me for not updating over the winter months as much. It was so cold and I had a very hard time keeping up with life. I will try to be better at this.

For the last month and a half I have been doing physical therapy again, and aquatic therapy again. :-) I love the pool. I wish I could fold it up and put it in my back pocket and bring it home! Now wouldn't that be awesome? My husband says to me, "But it wouldn't fit." Well duh! hehe I WISH being the key phrase there babe. hehe

The therapy has been working wonders and I've learned for the thousandth time that I can't get anything the easy way I must work very hard for what I desire, meaning exercise is the key. So I have been doing what I can, and pushing through the soreness and the aches and the horrible morning stiffness. It's funny that I've always been told that if I move more the stiffness with eventually lessen and maybe even go away... hey that is actually true kids. haha! Moving is the key. YES IT SUCKS! But I will do anything to feel better and this is anything.

I've been actually feeling a lot better and noticing that I'm recovering a lot faster. I still have all the symptoms of fibro, but it's a little less and easier to cope; between taking cymbalta, 10 mg of flexeril in the morning and another at night along with my anti-inflammatory both morning and night. I think I've finally found the recipe for relief. FANTABULOUS!!!

Helpful Links:

Physical Therapy-When Physical Therapy Can Help - WebMD

How Can Physical Therapy Help Fibromyalgia? - WebMD

What Can Physical Therapy Do For Your Back and Neck Pain

FAQs | Excel Physical Therapy

When Physical Therapy Can Help - Fitness Magazine

About Aquatic Physical Therapy

What does the moon havta' do with it?

For the last, at least 5 years I have been noticing a pattern between the moon, and my own body sensitivity/pain levels. In the last year, I have been secretly, half fast keeping track of the full moon and how I am feeling on the day and night of the rise and set of the moon.

The Moon's gravitational influence produces the ocean tides and the minute lengthening of the day. So what makes you think it wouldn't effect the way your body feels? I seem to experience a number of symptoms and sensitivities, that I'm pretty sure I can associate directly with the lunar cycle or seemed to be worsened by it.

1. headaches
2. restless legs and body
3. pain intensity
4. moods
5. increased sensitivity to environmental annoyances (smells, light, sound, stress etc.)

I have read that the full moon can be responsible for mood changes and can affect stress levels. Since stress in one of the leading causes of fibromyalgia flare-ups, my theory of the moon affecting fibromyalgia sufferers can assume to be true. 

I would love to hear from others who experience pain and/or have FMS or Arthritis. Please comment and tell me your own experience with the Lunar Cycle. ~Thanks :-)

Helpful LInks:

Full Moon Ion Effect

http://www.policeops.com/full-moon-ion-effect.htm

An Interesting Discusion on ProHealth: Full Moon & Flares:

http://forums.prohealth.com/forums/index.php?threads/full-moon-flares.92950/

Moon Cycles and Women

http://www.menstruation.com.au/periodpages/mooncycles.html

Does Weather Effect Arthritis Pain???

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/rheumatoid-arthritis-discussions/medicine-treatments/705192-does-weather-effect-arthritis-pain

An Interesting Topic from PaganSpace.com found from a google search: Moon Phases, Pain Levels and Moods

http://www.paganspace.net/forum/topics/1342861:Topic:357641?groupUrl=pagansinpain&groupId=1342861%3AGroup%3A296862&id=1342861%3ATopic%3A357641&page=1#comments

Is the Moon Affecting Your Sleep?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sleep-newzzz/201308/is-the-moon-affecting-your-sleep

Full Moon Can Mess with Your Sleep, New Study Finds

http://www.nbcnews.com/health/body-odd/full-moon-can-mess-your-sleep-new-study-finds-f6C10743979

Moon Myths: The Truth About Lunar Effects On You

http://www.livescience.com/7899-moon-myths-truth-lunar-effects.html

The Moon Cycle

http://www.moonconnection.com/moon_cycle.phtmlhttp://www.moonconnection.com/moon_cycle.phtml

Do people REALLY go crazy during a full moon? New study analyzes links between everything from lunacy to labor pains

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/people-crazy-full-moon-article-1.1204988

Study confirms myth of lunar cycle driving us mad is false... but doctors claim more mental health patients come in at full moon

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2235964/Full-moon-Patient-study-confirms-common-myth-lunar-patterns-driving-mad-false.html

Pain Levels 1-10 being the worst

(note full moon)

• The last two days I've had really high pain levels all over and slept most of today. 
• Head, neck shoulders pain levels 7
• Lower back, butt, hips, legs/thighs pain levels 8 but was at 10 earlier and I was very irritable (my poor poor husband)
• arms, wrists, and hands pain levels 6
• knees, ankles and feet pain levels 5 but was higher earlier today before i took a nap.

Meteorologist Kiki here

It feels like there is some more snow on the way. I've read a lot about experts saying they've proved that FMS is not impacted by weather changes, however, I disagree. I'm not an expert, but I have had FMS symptoms as long as I can remember, and finally diagnosed in 2007... That's a lot of pain and weather predicting.      

In my own experience, whenever the temperature and/or barometer changes drastically, I feel increased pain in numerous areas of my body. Usually I tend to develop a migraine that will intensify as the weather change moves closer, and after it has passed my head starts feeling better right away. All my joints are also sensitive to the weather changes and the all over body aches that are associated with Fibromyalgia always intensify during these changes too. Even the slightest weather system of any sort of precipitation at all will affect my body in negative ways.

When I was a kid I use to love storms, but by my early 20's I started noticing the increased pain before and during, so I've grown to not so much care for them. I do still love a beautiful lightning storm. Michigan is not a "Fibro weather friendly state". 

Currently smack dab in the middle of a FLARE-UP. . . but on the bright side I am making leaps and bounds of progress where doctors and treatment are concerned. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel...along with a ton of really hard work to get there.

I will be starting pain management next week and physical therapy, along with aquatic therapy. YAY!!! Pool Time! We love that! Don't we? :-)

I have also been eating very well and using myfitnesspal app on my phone religiously. Yay me! I lost 2 lbs. so far and I'm hoping I lost more this week but I do not weigh up until Friday. So I shall keep ya posted.

I'm trying to exercise the best I can through the pain also. I have been doing short 5 min walks on my treadmill. I did 7 and 1/2 yesterday and I think I angered my knees and lower back. That could be a little part of my flare-up today... it just seems like 7 mins walking is nothing, and how could it make me feel this bad today? I've been being so careful not to over-do-it. I feel like a very delicate bubble... don't touch me, ... i'll break. Ridiculous. I must get stronger.

Helpful links:

Weather & Fibromyalgia

http://www.fibromyalgia-symptoms.org/fibromyalgia_weather.html

Influences of Weather on Fibromyalgia

http://www.fibrofiles.com/2013/07/the-influence-of-weather-on-fibromyalgia.html?m=1

Fibromyalgia Weather Related Symptoms

http://aqua4balance.com/Health-Conditions/fibromyalgia/fibromyalgia-weather-related-symptoms.html#.Uom_hHm9Kc0

The FM-Weather Connection

http://www.fmaware.org/News2c0cd.html?page=NewsArticle&id=7705

Weather Conditions Do Not Affect Fibromyalgia 

http://americannewsreport.com/nationalpainreport/study-weather-conditions-do-not-affect-fibromyalgia-8820187.html

My Fitness Pal
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/

Cold Weather Super Foods for Weight Loss
http://www.weather.com/health/cold-flu-outlook/cold-weather-superfoods-weight-loss-20140130?pageno=1

Pain Levels (1-10 being the best):

• head, neck and face 5
• upper back and shoulders 4
• arms, wrists, hands 6
• lower back, butt, thighs, knees, ankles and feet 8, but have been higher 

It's been awhile...did you miss me? :-P

Either I've had less to complain about, or I've just been really lazy about recording my complaints... maybe a little of both? 

My first biggest complaint is the weather. OMG snow is my arch enemy. The bitter cold comes in a close second. I can not survive these sub zero temperatures and wind chills. The wind has been terrible. They've all teamed up to make my life hell. It's been a freezing, antarctic, bone-chilling, frigid, polar, glacial, frosted, frozen tundra. I swear if I ever win that Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes, I'm totally, buying a house in the tropics somewhere, maybe Hawaii. I'll only ever visit Michigan when It's summer or early fall. 

Well a lot has happened to me since I last updated way back in the middle of November. 

I've been using Cymbalta and I think it has been helping me tolerate the pain a lot better and recover from flare ups faster. I've had barely any "all day in bed" days, (I'm usually able to at least make it to the livingroom chair and then shuffle around the house doing little things even though i've been in pain.) 

However, I crave sweets like crazy. If given the chance at times, I could easily finish off half gallon ice cream containers. (I have not done this but I know I could.)

I finally said enough was enough. I've been RELIGIOUSLY recording my meals, snacks, exercise and water intake on Myfinesspal App. This forces me to eat better, because I'm constantly aware of what I'm putting into my body. I always have my phone on me, so I always have access to my food journal. I have no excuses now. 

I know in the long haul this is going to make me feel better. I just need to stick with it, even though it's not an easy task to give up the sweets, especially when my medication makes me lust for them!! Fruit, Fruit, Fruit is the key! (and sugar free chocolate pudding!)

Stress!

I've been letting stress get to me. I have "racing thoughts" and trouble shutting my brain off when it's time to sleep. My shoulders and down my arms, running into my wrists and hands, are all tight and lumpy. My legs are tense from my booty to my tippy toes, the front of my thighs are rocks, and my feet ache with little marbles under the skin, that worsen with pressure. 

I've been allowing the little stresses of every day life affect my physical health, by letting my mind run away with all kinds of worry thoughts. Then my body tenses up, all the muscles forget how to relax and be normal, this brings on the fibromyalgia flare up. It's almost like I went to the gym and worked out my entire body until I could fall down, and now my muscles need to recover from the over work-out. It's a different pain though, and the lumps under the skin that hurt when pressure is applied are obviously not like regular sore over worked muscles. Someone told me that was lactic acid build up. Then I read some where else that it was excess phosphate or something. Don't quote me on any of this. I'm in the middle of a flare up, so I could be completely off in Neverneverland right now. I have a daily pass there and they know me by name.

New Doctors and Med Dosage

I finally found a primary doc that I like. YAY!!! This feels like a major accomplishment after all I've been through. He seems to be on the ball and making things happen already, so there is much hope for the future.

Insurance switchover

I have been having issues with insurance. Among these issues, resulted in me having to go a few days with out my Cymbalta. KIDS DONT TRY THIS AT HOME!!! Wow. Never again! I don't care if I have to beg on the street corners for the money to get that one, I must have it. I felt like exploding and my moods were swinging like the major leagues! I was mean. I still don't feel completely recovered. I was such a big cry baby too, and I couldn't help it. I hate not being in control of myself. It's so embarrassing! 

I was doing really well just before the missed Cymbaltas. I felt like I had it together, and I was making progress. I think it set me back, but I will recover.Hopefully my new insurance will ok the coverage on it, otherwise it's back to the drawing board. It's too bad when you find something that is working, you can't just get coverage. 

It's late...to be continued: :)