If you are currently a fibromyalgia (FMS) sufferer or you are very close to someone that is you know that basically life is an endless cycle of healing from flare ups.

flare-up
noun
plural noun: flare-ups

1.
a sudden outburst of something, esp. violence or a medical condition.

My main issue most days is when I start to feel better after many days of feeling awful and putting things off because I don't feel good enough to do anything, I will over do it and try to get all caught up in one day. This is with out a doubt a recipe for a flare up. When doing any kind of physical activity I MUST always remember to keep an even slow pace and rest often no matter how good I feel. I can NOT run around the house and clean it like a teenager all in an hour or two like I use to.

I've always been some what of a neat freak about my house. I will let it go just far enough until I can't stand it anymore and then it must be cleaned, and I mean really deep "spring" cleaned. Floors have always been a big pet peeve of mine, they must be clean enough to go bare foot, because I hate socks. My feet need to be free, and I hate when they are dirty. I use to be able to get down on my hands and knees and scrub my floors with a scrub-brush and bucket of soapy water and ratty towels. I would really pay for it the next day, with my arms, upper back, neck and head would ache pretty bad, but I was in my early 20's so I would bounce back quickly. I could get away with washing the kitchen and bathroom floors about once every other week, then maintain them by sweeping and what I called "spot mopping" in the meantime. However now that I'm in my "late 30's", (ick i hate saying that,) It's hard for me to keep up with just sweeping and swiffering the floors once a week! We shall not even speak of the tubs, it's so hard to lean over and scrub anything these days, and paying for that is the worst! I wish I could hire a cleaning service.

It does seem like everything I do comes with a painful cost. If I over indulge in anything not even physical, it comes with the cost of pain. As I always say "I pay to play". If I sit and craft too long with my head looking down, paint or draw, but don't take enough breaks, my neck and shoulders will be hurting really bad by the next day or two. If I sit in the wrong chair too long, or ride in the car, or stand too long, lay the wrong way, sit wrong, turn my head wrong, bend wrong or tense my shoulders up for a long period of time, I can almost count on extra pain or a flare up of FMS. Frustrating? YES! That is one of the most frustrating parts of fibromyalgia, ... I can't do anything with out consequences. Making plans is very difficult. I find myself turning down opportunities to do other things because I know I have to do something important in a few days, and I want to make sure I'm not flaring that day.

One of the other most frustrating things about having a physical debilitating illness, is having people in your life that have no clue and don't understand. There is always going to be people that don't get it, all I can do is try to help them realize and be empathetic myself that it's hard to be sympathetic to something you are not experiencing yourself.

It actually makes me feel better to hash this all out in my blog,... whether or not anyone is reading this, at least I'm helping myself. :-)

head, face and neck pain level 7
shoulders and upper back pain (permashrug) level 8.5
lower back, hips, legs ankles and feet pain level 8
arms, wrists and hands 6
belly bloat and lower abdominal pain pain level 5
the weather is yucky, raining and cold (temp dropped at least 15 to 20 degrees for the high and the low isn't quite freezing yet.)

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